Movies:Clerks

I hope it feels so good to be right. There's nothing more exhilerating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there?

- -Randall

"I'm offering you my body, and you're offering me semantics."

- Caitlin Bree

Try not to suck any dick on the way out of the parking lot!

- Dante

You ever notice that all the prices end in nine? Damn, that's eerie.

- Dante

You get me slapped with a fine, you argue with the customers and I have to patch everything up, you get us thrown out of a funeral by violating the corpse, and then to top it off, you ruin my relationship. I mean, what's your encore? Do you, like, anally rape my mother while pouring sugar in my gas tank?

- Dante Hicks

Noise, noise, noise...smokin' weed, smokin' weed, doin' coke, drinkin' beer. My good man its time to kick back, drink some beer and smoke some weed.

- Jay

I don't know it you know this or not, but cum leaves streaks if you don't clean it right away.

- Randal

Salsa Shark. Were gonna need a bigger boat. Man goes into cage, cage goes into salsa. Shark is in salsa.

- Randal

Melodrama coming from you is about as normal as a bowel movement

- Randal

People say crazy shit during sex. One time I called this girl "Mom."

- Randal

I'm a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class. Espcially since I rule.

- Randal

Hermaphadidic porn. Starlets with both organs. You should see the box, beautiful chicks with dicks that put mine to shame.

- Randal, "Clerks" ( ? )

Man, there are a million fine girls in the world, but not all of them bring you lasagna at work. Most of them just cheat on you.

- Silent Bob

"Cute cat, whats its name?" "Annoying customer." "Fuck you asshole!"

- Two Guys

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