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Religion

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The Jews, the Muslims and the Christians, They've all got it wrong. The people of the world only divide into two kinds, One sort with brains who hold no religion, The other with religion and no brain.

- Abu-al-Ala al-Marri, 10th century Syrian poet

I cannot conceive of a God who rewards and punishes his creatures, or has a will of the type of which we are conscious in ourselves. An individual who should survive his physical death is also beyond my comprehension, such notions are for the fears or absurd egoism of feeble souls.

- Albert Einstein

It was, of course, a lie what you read about my religious convictions, a lie which is being systematically repeated. I do not believe in a personal God and I have never denied this but have expressed it clearly. If something is in me which can be called religious then it is the unbounded admiration for the structure of the world so far as our science can reveal it.

- Albert Einstein

lord, give me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, courage to change the things i can, and wisdom to know the difference

- Anonymous

I cannot conceive otherwise than that He, the Infinite Father, expects or requires no worship or praise from us, but that He is even infinitely above it.

- Benjamin Franklin

Beware the man of a single book.

- Bertrand Russell

The Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs.

- Bill Maher

God favors no group. Only religions do that.

- Bumper Sticker

A God. The God. One word can make all the difference in the world.

- C.S. Lewis

Now that I am a Christian I do not have moods in which the whole thing looks very improbable: but when I was an atheist I had moods in which Christianity looked terribly probable.

- C.S. Lewis

We regard God as an airman regards his parachute; it's there for emergencies but he hopes he'll never have to use it.

- C.S. Lewis

I believe in God like I believe in the sun rise. Not because I can see it, but because I can see all that it touches.

- C.S. Lewis

My deeply held belief is that if a god anything like the traditional sort exists, our curiosity and intelligence are provided by such a god. We would be unappreciative of those gifts... if we suppressed our passion to explore the universe and ourselves.

- Carl Sagan

Gods are fragile things; they may be killed by a whiff of science or a dose of common sense.

- Chapman Cohen

For those who believe in God, most of the big questions are answered. But for those of us who can't readily accept the God formula, the big answers don't remain stone-written. We adjust to new conditions and discoveries. We are pliable. Love need not be a command or faith a dictum. I am my own God. We are here to unlearn the teachings of the church, state, and our educational system. We are here to drink beer. We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us.

- Charles Bukowski

I can indeed hardly see how anyone ought to wish Christianity to be true, for if so, the plain language of the text seems to show that the men who do not believe, and this would include my Father, Brother and almost all my best friends, will be everlastingly punished. And this is a damnable doctrine.

- Charles Darwin

If we accept that there is neither a heaven or a hell, we renounce the idea of any power beyond the perception of science we then must accept responsibility for all we do in this life for there will be no form of atonement afterwards.

- Dominic Webb

"Fantastic doctrines (like Christianity or Islam or Marxism) require unanimity of belief. One dissenter casts doubt on the creed of millions. Thus the fear and the hate; thus the torture chamber, the iron stake, the gallows, the labor camp, the psychiatric ward.

- Edward Abbey

God is a circle whose center is everywhere and whose circumference is nowhere.

- Empedocles

The Church says that the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round. For I have seen the shadow on the moon and I have more faith in the Shadow than in the Church.

- Ferdinand Magellan

Do you believe that at the heart of the universe there is a room? Or do you believe that there is no heart to the universe, just down, down, and that the dark crow that rows back through the air marks us all for its own and darkness's?

- Frederick Buechner

I call Christianity the one great curse, the one great intrinsic depravity, the one great instinct for revenge for which no expedient is sufficiently poisonous, secret, subterranean, petty -- I call it the one mortal blemish of mankind.

- Friedrich Nietzsche

For out of fear and need each religion is born, creeping into existence on the byways of reason.

- Friedrich Nietzsche, "Human, All Too Human" ( $ ) ( ? )

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

- Galileo Galilei

When are we human beings gonna have a meeting? We took this god thing and ran to the god damn end of the earth with it.

- George Carlin

Spirituality: the last refuge of a failed human. Just another way of distracting yourself from who you really are.

- George Carlin, "Napalm and Silly Putty" ( $ ) ( ? )

Many people genuinely do not wish to be saints, and it is possible that some who achieve or aspire to sainthood have never had much temptation to be human beings.

- George Orwell

God does not play dice with the universe: He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players,* to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with balcnk cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. * i.e., everbody.

- Good Omens By Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett

Life is an unfoldment, and the further we travel the more truth we can comprehend. To understand the things that are at our door is the best preparation for understanding those that lie beyond

- Hypatia

If God dwells inside us like some people say....I sure hope he likes enchiladas, cuz thats what he's getting.

- Jack Handey

God is a shout in the street.

- James Joyce

God Gave us our memories so that we might have roses in December.

- James Matthew Barrie

1 In the beggining Man created God: and in the image of Man created he him. 2 And Man gave unto God a multitude of names, that he might be Lord over all the earth when it was suited to Man. 3 And on the seven millionth day Man rested and did lean heavily on his God and saw that it was good. 4 And Man formed Aqualung of the dust of the ground, and a host of others likened unto his kind. 5 And these lesser men Man did cast into the void. And some were burned; and some were put apart from their kind. 6 And Man became the God that he had created and with his miracles did rule over all the earth. 7 But as these things did come to pass, the Spirit that did cause man to creat his God lived on within all men: even within Aqualung 8 And Man saw it not. 9 But for Christ's sake he'd better start looking.

- Jethro Tull

For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that who soever beliveth in his shall not parish, but have everlasting life...

- John 3:16

 If a `religion' is defined to be a system of ideas that contains unprovable statements, then Godel taught us that mathematics is not only a religion, it is the only religion that can prove itself to be one.

- John Barrow

Religion starts with the perception that something is wrong.

- Karen Armstrong, "A History of God" ( $ ) ( ? )

Anyone who cannot understand how a useful religion can be based on lies will not understand this book either.

- Kurt Vonnegut, "Cat's Cradle" ( $ ) ( ? )

Every day, people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

- Lenny Bruce

I have never seen Athieism dry the tears of a widowed bride. I have never seen Athieiesm comfort the single mother. I have never seen Athieism calm the spirit of a distressed father. And I have never seen Athieism offer hope to the hopeless, forgiveness to the sinner, and grace and mercy to all who ask it. Athieism indeed denies humans of the one thing our souls so long for; an answer. I have found the answer! The One and Only Answer.

- Logan McAdams

Believe it or not, Evolution Creation, Communism, Anarchism All isms are all religions. Perfect Neutrality of Religions is impossible.

- Lyden

...as hollow as the "o" in god...

- Marilyn Manson

"God gives gifts to all creatures," Allessandro continued," no matter what their station or condition. He may give innocence to a lunatic, or heaven to a thief. Contrary to most theologians, I have always believed that even worms and weasels have souls, and that even they are capable of salvation."

- Mark Helprin, "A Soldier of the Great War" ( $ ) ( ? )

Sacrecd cows make the best hamburger.

- Mark Twain

Most people are bothered by those passages in Scripture which they cannot understand; but as for me, I always notice that the passages in Scripture which trouble me most are those which I do understand.

- Mark Twain

The idea of God is the sole wrong for which I cannot forgive mankind

- Marquis de Sade

Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.

- Martin Luther King Jr.

"Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich."

- Napoleon

Religion is the fashionable substitute for belief.

- Oscar Wilde

God is really only another artist. He invented the giraffe, the elephant, and the cat. He has no real style. He just keeps on trying other things.

- Pablo Picasso

Divine Goodness does not only NOT reject penitent souls, but goes out in search of obstinate souls.

- Padre Pio

I can't say I believe in god. If, in fact, I ever find out that he does indeed exist, I think I'll stay away from him, because if he's responsible for half the things he gets credit for, he's got to be one mean son of a bitch.

- Peter Gethers

Soon the child’s clear eye is clouded over by ideas and opinions, preconceptions and abstractions. Simple free being becomes encrusted with the burdensome armor of the ego. Not until years later does an instinct come that a vital sense of mystery has been withdrawn. The sun glints through the pines, and the heart is pierced in a moment of beauty and strange pain, like a memory of paradise. After that day… we become seekers.

- Peter Matthiessen

All that I have seen teaches me to trust the creator in all that I have not seen

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I consider dogmatic belief and dogmatic denial very childish forms of conceit in a world of infinitely whirrling complexity.

- Robert Anton Wilson

I want no heaven for which I must give my reason; no happiness in exchange for my liberty, and no immortality that demands the surrender of my individuality. Better rot in the windowless tomb, to which there is no door but the red mouth of the pallid worm, than to wear the jeweled collar of a god.

- Robert Green Ingersoll

It is like most other ancient books – a mingling of falsehood and truth, of philosophy and folly – all written by men, and most of the men only partially civilized. Some of its laws are good – some infinitely barbarous. None of the miracles related were performed. . . . Take out the absurdities, the miracles, all that pertains to the supernatural – all the cruel and barbaric laws – and to the remainder I have no objection. Neither would I have for it any great admiration.

- Robert Ingersoll

Doing My Part To Piss Off The Religous Reich

- Seen On A Button

Screw God, I'm worshipping Jill.

- Shelby

The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshipped anything but himself.

- Sir Richard Francis Burton

Lord, proect me from your followers!

- Some Button I Saw Once

The beauty of religious mania is that it has the power to explain everything. Once God (or Satan) is accepted as the first cause of everything which happens in the mortal world, nothing is left to chance...logic can be happily tossed out the window.

- Stephen King

"Now if you send just a dollar or two, there's not a hell of a lot I can do for you. If you want to see heaven's door, make out a check for $500 or more. Send me your money!"

- Suicidal Tendencies

He is Allah, (the) One. The Self-Sufficient Master, Whom all creatures need, He neither eats nor drinks. He begets not, nor was He begotten; And there is none co-equal or comparable unto Him.

- The Noble Qur'An (112:1-4)

I have examined all the known superstitions of the word, and I do not find in our particular superstition of Christianity one redeeming feature. They are all alike founded on fables and mythology. Millions of innocent men, women and children, since the introduction of Christianity, have been burnt, tortured, fined and imprisoned. What has been the effect of this coercion? To make one half the world fools and the other half hypocrites; to support roguery and error all over the earth.

- Thomas Jefferson

Indeed, I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just: that his justice cannot sleep forever.

- Thomas Jefferson

Whenever we read the obscene stories, the voluptuous debaucheries, the cruel and torturous executions, the unrelenting vindictiveness, with which more than half the Bible is filled, it would be more consistent that we called it the word of a demon than the Word of God. It is a history of wickedness that has served to corrupt and brutalize mankind; and, for my part, I sincerely detest it as I detest everything that is cruel.

- Thomas Paine

It's easy to have faith as long as it goes along with what you already know.

- Tom Wolfe, "The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test" ( $ ) ( ? )

the same people wrote the bible that thought the world was flat.

- Unknown

If God did not exist, it would be necessary for man to invent him.

- Voltair

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