Every day I send overnight packages filled with rabid weasels to people who use frames for no good reason.
A thorough software professional is one who when his wife yells at him "goto hell" , worries more about the goto statement than what his wife is upset about.
You are not expected to understand this.
Contrary to popular belief, Unix is user friendly. It just happens to be very selective about who it decides to make friends with.
I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
To create a new standard it takes something that's not just a little bit different. It takes something that's really new and really captures people's imagination. And the Macintosh, of all the machines I've ever seen, is the only one that meets that standard.
don't waste all your time just designing. it'll horribly stunt you. take up a job at a grocery store or video rental place or anything, something that puts you in touch with normal people. design people are not normal. they have serious, serious problems and are too arrogant for their own good. try restocking a chip rack or getting yelled at to mop a floor. get some hair on your pubic region. sitting around with a mouse in one hand and an issue of emigre in the other is just making you fatter and uglier. you fat, ugly pig.
Win98 is just like a higher quality heroin.. it's still not good for us.
Unix is not a "A-ha" experience, it is more of a "holy-shit" experience.
I'd wipe the machines off the face of the earth again, and end the industrial epoch absolutely, like a black mistake.
Unix is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity
To me Windows is like this: It's as though there are hundreds of brands of cars, but all of them come with the same design of engine in them when you buy them...and every year when they make new cars, instead of designing a new engine, they just add more parts onto the same old design so the engine can do new things. They do this so they can still use the same old parts for the engine if they have to, but the engine design has gotten so big that sometimes it won't start at all, or shuts off on its own, or even seizes up so you have to put in a new engine (but only of the same design). So you have this new car with a nice transmission and smooth suspension, but the engine is like a coal burning steam engine, converted to run on diesel, then re-converted to run as a gas-electric hybrid, but with all the old parts still attached to it. No wonder it won't start properly, it stalls often, and it breaks down and the engine has to be reinstalled.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it.
Science is what we understand well enough to explain to a computer. Art is everything else we do.
A computer terminal is not some clunky old television with a typewriter in front of it. It is an interface where the mind and body can connect with the universe and move bits of it about.
A computer without Windows is like a chocolate cake without mustard.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence.
"This computer makes me all frowny with pure nougat-filled hatred!
Note to self: pasty-skinned programmers ought not stand in the Mojave desert for multiple hours
Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy.
You... you can't dump me! I'm using your name for all my passwords! What exactly am I supposed to do about that!?
I entered the office and tossed my hat at the coat rack. It missed, hit the heater, and instantly burst into flames. That reminded me: I had some work to do in Windows.
The problem with allowing the engineers who create a program also write its "Help" and "Tutorials" is that you get: People who cannot write, writing "Help" for people who do not need help.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
It is the fate of operating systems to become free.
How many slums will we bulldoze to build the Information superhighway? The Information Superhighway is just a fucking metaphor! Give me a break!
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form."
If automobiles had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
To err is human..to really screw up you need a computer.
You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on.
It would be just like programmers to shorten 'the year 2000 problem' to 'Y2K'-- exactly the kind of thinking that created this situation in the first place.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
The best computer is a man, and it's the only one that can be mass-produced by unskilled labor.
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